A Time For Everything.

"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."
-C.S. Lewis

This quote reminds me, as it must remind us all at some point, how i felt after the loss of a loved one. No one likes to grief, no one enjoys feeling immense loss, but we do experience these things and we must learn to cope. Lewis says that part of grief is not only feeling it, but being reminded everyday that you are grieving; living in grief and thinking about the fact that you live in grief.

I think that what lewis describes about grief is almost worse than grief itself. You not only have the initial grief to bear but we are daily reminded of the fact that, that loved one wont be walking through the door again, won't be there to say Merry Christmas too, wont be there to hug or to laugh with, or that my uncle will never go his sons graduations, or their weddings. It is, in my opinion, absolutely worse to be reminded that we suffer daily than that first initial feelings of suffering.

Wouldn't you think that because this, the endless grief we face, is true we would be drowned by our sufferings, that we would be suffocated by our pain, that we would be drained of every last bit of hope by our grief? I certainly would think that. But no, we do not have to be continual, eternal victims of our grief. There is a source of light and of joy that we can look to. Ecclesiastes 3 says,

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

There is a time for everything, so we then can know that we are not meant to suffer forever. we can know that yes, we will suffer, we will loose mothers, fathers, brothers, and uncles, but the times of mourning and pain will subside. The raging storm of our pain will slowly come to a calm and like the sea, it will be a peaceful place once again. Life is not meant to be an endless winding road of pain. As it says in Ecclesiastes "there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..." There are times to rejoice in our Lord and be glad of our lives. Those times are what we look towards, but we must not forget that the times of suffering and grief and pain make us stronger, those times are what brings us closer to God. During those endless days of grief, when we look up from our bottomless pits, we realize that our savior is standing above us with an out stretched arm.

Here are words form Isaiah 61 verses 1-3:

"the spirit of the sovereign lord is on me,

because the lord has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

he has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORDs favor

and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion -

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor."

.kyle butts.
.i love you uncle.

Meditation in a Tool Shed

I love how Lewis can take such a simple image of a beam of light in a dark tool shed and expand it to such a deep and meaningful topic, I love his use of mental pictures. The simplicity of looking at a beam of light compared to looking along a beam of light and then applying this analogy to everyday life it’s just amazing.
Lewis, in meditation in a tool shed, recognizes that there are different ways of looking at the world and different experiences but one must always look at a situation and along it and most certainly one must look both ways at a situation. Merely looking at a situation deprives you of having a firsthand experience; you don’t get the full force of the situation. This is why we must look at and along. And merely looking along a situation can get you so caught up in it that you loose yourself. It is good to take a step back and look at something rather than be submerged in it.
I really enjoyed this essay of Lewis’ because it can be applied to my daily life and it reminds me a lot of photography. I’m always looking for new angles to shoot at and to capture my subject in the best way, just as we look for different ways to see a situation in our own lives. You can simply take a picture of a window straight on and you see that all it is glass and wood put together and lets light into the room. But it is not until you get close to it and you see that it’s made of curves and lines and color you see the detail of the wood or the glass you see much more when you look along it. But it is the same as if you zoom in and you only see details, you then lose sight that it is in fact a window, which is important to know. It is important and vital to look both at and along things in life.

thend.

The Inner Circle

The Inner Circle:
This reading brought me back to elementary school days. I remember in the fourth grade at the Winthrop public elementary school (The Willis) that I was in the "cool kids" group...and looking back on it...I laugh because fourth grade cool is much different than what I think is cool now. So I was in the fourth grade and I was in the inner circle of the girls in the class...and we all had our titles. I was the funny one. Looking back I now, see that I was in a way the court jester...just there to make them laugh. Everyone wanted to hang with us...or so we thought and the cute boys liked the cutest girls in the group. It was an elementary clique. (So lame). I particularly remember one day we played truth or dare during recess (like all 4th graders did) and they dared me to kiss a tree...and I thought well, that is kind of gross I’m not doing that. And because of my personal feelings on how sanitary kissing a tree was...I was kicked out of the group. One little miniscule thing and I was gone. I remember how awful that felt.
Lewis says, "One of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left out side." It’s a bad enough feeling to want to be in a ring but when you are in it and you get kicked out its possibly even worse.
And I've been on both sides of the fence. I have had the desire to be in the group and I’ve been in the group and have been found guilty of excluding others from the group. Lewis makes a point to say something so utterly true about these inner rings, "Exclusion is no accident; it is the essence." It’s hard to realize that you've been a part of something like that. To purposely brush people away who aren’t deemed "worthy" of your group. It’s kind of embarrassing actually.
Lewis points out that all of these inner rings don’t benefit you in any way he says, “As long as you are governed by that desire you will never get what you want. You are trying to peel an onion: if you succeed there will be nothing left. Until you conquer the fear of being an outsider, an outsider you will remain."
It is just amazing that even though this was written in the 40s in London, it applies to right now. It fits in with current times and will be appropriate in another 20 or 40 years. The phenominon on the Inner Rings will not die, but as individuals there can be the prevention of another one rising up among us in this world.

thend.

The Sermon and The Lunch

I enjoyed reading the sermon and the lunch. It reminded me of an example in my own life. I mean, we are all hypocrites don’t get me wrong but it is interesting to compare this story with the story of my 1st grade Sunday school teacher.
She is a godly woman yes, who has been teaching 1st grade Sunday school for quite a while at my church. She is in the choir and participates in almost every church event. She is the epitome of a regular churchgoer.
However, like the example of the pastor in the sermon and the lunch, her home life is unlike her church life. She can be very crude to people she doesn’t like and occasionally I catch her not being the churchgoer she is so avidly on Sundays. I cannot judge my Sunday school teacher because I am a hypocrite just as we all are but it is just an example that sticks out to me. It is hard to be a good witness of Christ and his love to others when it is blatant that you are not following what you preach.

John 9: 5, "while i am in the world, I am the light of the world."

We are to be examples of Christs light.

Thend.

Eros V. Friendship

Eros Vs. Friendship

In class we talked about the differences between eros and friendship. We used the visual aid of the stick figures with the lovers who look into eachothers eyes and the friends who stand side by side and look ahead together. The lovers who are enveloped in eros put eachother infront of themselves; they put eachother first. With friends its not always like that, there is that kind of a relationship but unlike lovers who share common goals, friends have thier own goals for themselves and are not always wrapped up in eachother.
I am a very visual person so this discussion was very helpful to me. Since i am visually oriented heres my take on the analogy:


Example of lovers who stare in eachothers eyes:
Example of friends who look foward together with their own sperate goals:

Love: Friendship

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. "

I really enjoyed Lewis' views on friendship. I like this quote above a lot. It speaks to how unnatural friendship it. We really do not need to have friends but God gave us the gift of friendship. It’s interesting to think of Jesus without his friends. He definitely did not need friends, seeing that he is God, but he used fellowship with others to spread his word. Jesus' friends must have made his life more enjoyable. He didn’t need their help, but with them he encouraged the fellowship between believers which gives our lives value.
I also liked the part in the friendship chapter when Lewis talks about bringing out the best in your friends and your friends bringing out the best in you.

“In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out.” I like that friendship has that dynamic. I Love friendship and I love that God gave us that gift…and it is a gift, so treasure it.

thend.

Screwtape Letter Nine

Screwtape 9:
One on hand, Peaks can be more dangerous than troughs, but troughs are where the devil attempts to break us. Screwtape notes that when a man is at a low point, that is when he is most vulnerable to attacks. I found it interesting how Lewis explains the attacks of the devil are done on us when we are in trough periods. The devil takes the pleasure of this world created by God that are meant to be healthy and good, and distorts them and imposes the tainted pleasure on us in our troughs. Sexual pleasures are used by the devil to strongly tempt us as well as the pleasure of drink that he twists into alcoholism. Screwtape tells his nephew that it is much easier to gain a man’s soul using drink while he is sad, alone, and feels distant from God than gain a man’s soul when he is sharing a drink or two with friends during a peak period.
Not only does the devil attempt to rope us in with pleasures, but he directly attacks our faith during trough periods. We are susceptible even more so than normal during trough times to thoughts of doubt and anger towards God because we do feel distant from him. Thus, simontaniously troughs are places where we learn most about the strength of our faith and can be absolutely broken in our faith by the sly works of the devil. God allows us to be in these low places where we can be so broken, yet have the chance to grow immensely. Therefore, I’ve come to the conclusion…and I think this is ground breaking here…Christianity and being a Christian living in this world...aint easy.

peaks and troughs (Maui, Hawaii) 2008.

thend.

Screwtape Letter Eight

Letter 8: The Law of Undulation
There is a lot to take from letter 8 and the law of undulation. It is important to understand that there are periods in our lives that consist of peaks and troughs. It is good to understand the differences in you when you are in a peak period and when you are in a trough period. I enjoyed reading the part where Screw tape says, God “relies” on the troughs more than peaks to work on shape his children. I find it so true that it is when we are down and almost out, that we find God again. When we are at our lowest point we tend to draw up to Him, when we hit that rock bottom….we have the opportunity to be lifted up once more. Peaks then, are times when we feel fine in our life with our faith or whatever it maybe. These times can be dangerous though. During peak periods we can forget that we need God. Unlike in troughs where we feel the need for God, it’s where we long for him. If everything is going so well that sometimes we don’t stop to think about God.

I thoroughly enjoyed this quote from letter 8, “sooner or later He withdraws if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs – to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be.” it is in these troughs that we can look up and see the Almighty

Learning in War Time

"It is only our daily bread that we are encourage to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received. "

I thouroughly enjoyed Learning in War Time, theres a lot to take from it. This quote specifically, i like alot. It just really hit me how true it is that God tells us to pray only for our daily bread. Just for the things we need today since today is the only time, as the quote says that graced can bereceiver or any service given. It is the now that we ask for help with and it is the now that we grow. we cannot tell what will happen to tomorrow so we must focus on what we can do for our God today. It reminds me of matthew 6:33-34:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NIV)

We need not to focus on tomorrow but what we can do right now.

I also enjoyed Lewis quote that, "100 per cent of us die, and the percentage cannot be increased." then, since we all know we will die, it is not a question of that...but rather, as lewis says a question of "this death or that."

Lewis also comments on how death is made real to us by war. I know that this is true, friends of mine have lost loved ones and friends due to the current war going on....but lewis says that this can be a blessing. It is good that we are aware of our mortality, he says.

"War makes death real to us: and that would have been regarded as one of its blessings by most of the great Christians of the past. They thought it good for us to be always aware of our mortality. I am inclined to think they were right. "

i Agree with Lewis on this point. It is important that we know we can perish in an instand, therefore let us make the most of our time here on this earth and serve our God. Life is a one way street...theres no turining back, so look to today to love and serve our Lord.

my english syllabus.

All to often i take for granted the fact that im in college...when other people my age dont have this same opperunity. i take for granted the fact that i have this great thing before me that i can use to better myself and hopefully use it to better others. Lewis talks about how,

"poverty can prevent one man from becoming an astronomer as blindness may prevent another man from becoming a painter"

im neither blind nor poverty stricken so i must make the most of my education as i can. Unfortunatly i slack off when i know i should be diligently doing my work and i convince myself that not doing it now when i should, is fine...as long as i finish it later. (which usually doesnt happen right away)

I feel like i lack the desire to lean all too often. Lewis in Our English Syllabus, talks about how the young student should have a "thirst for knowledge." I do want that, i just let my laziness and procrastination stand in the way. Lewis describes the good student as, " a young man (or woman) who is already begining to follow learning for its own sake..." This drive to knowleg, to better oneself, is a most powerful thing. i pray often that i find it in me to press on disprite how hard the work is or how stressful it can be.

Something that Lewis wrote really impacted me, he states,

"i think....learning has been found to have an education value. Learning is not education; but can be used educationally but hose who do not propose to pursue leanring all thier lives."

i like this alot. Anyone can learn to be rude, or to be greedy, or to be hot tempered. Anyone can learn useless things. But when learning is used for educational purposes is is a force to be reckoned with. Education empowers people...and i shouldnt take that for granted while i spent the next four years of my life here at Calvin College.

-the.end-