True Love

     Lewis wrote this for his wife...it is simply brilliant and touching....and honest...which is wonderful.

As the Ruin Falls

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.

I never had a selfless thought since I was born.

I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:

I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,

I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:

I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--

But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.

I see the chasm. And everything you are was making

My heart into a bridge by which I might get back

From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains

You give me are more precious than all other gains.

________________

this reminded me of a quote from the play Shadowlands, that is about Lewis' life.

Jack(lewis) says: "Why love, if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore: only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I've been given the choice: as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal"

Another quote from the play that the poem reminded me of is this,

Jack: "Will you marry this foolish, frightened old man... who needs you more than he can bear to say... who loves you, even though he hardly knows how"

_____

 th.e.nd

  _____

ehh whats up Doc? [Man or Rabbit?]

I was a little disappointed that Tony wasn't in class the day we talked about this essay because he was the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland... what a shame. [anyway]

I thought this was interesting... Lewis always compares humans to animals... which is great because he makes some excellent points from it.  

i especially liked this quote:

"If christianity is untrue, then no honest man will want to believe it, however helpful it might be: if it is true, every honest man will want to believe it even if it gives him no help at all."

Lewis says that even if something isn't helpful at all but is still true, an honest person who basks in the truth will want to believe it. 

I also liked this quote:

"One of the things that distinguishes man from the other animals is that he wants to

 know things, wants to find out what reality is like, simply for the sake of knowing. When that desire is completely quenched in anyone, I think he has become something less than human"

My favorite quote from this essay was this:

"All the rabbit in us is to disappear -- the worried, conscientious, ethical rabbit as well as the cowardly and sensual rabbit. we shall bleed and squeal as the handfuls of fur come out; and then, surprisingly, we shall find underneath it all a thing we have never yet imagined: a real Man, an ageless god, a son of God, strong, radiant, wise, beautiful, and drenched in joy." 

so, are we men and women....or rabbits?

THeND

(sorry tony...i couldn't help it...)

Priestesses in the church?

I always hate topics like this... whether women should hold position in the church or not. Personally, i think that God calls us all to many things, whether that be to be teachers, or artists, or parents, or missionaries, or preachers/pastors. So i think i must disagree with lewis on this one...i do really struggle with the passage from 1 corinthians 14: 34- 35 where it says, "As in all the congregations of the saints, 34women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."  

Its hard to comprehend that passage. Personally I am an outspoken independent woman and I feel that I have the right to speak my mind, especially in church. And if i felt called b

y God to be a pastor, why wouldn't i want to pursue that? If a woman is more capable than a man in a certain situation, why not take the woman?

i just get really easily frustrated with topics like this. The whole "women must be submissive" is just really hard for me to accept... or agree with. 

It's just frustrating. 

[ all you women who independent throw your hands up at me! ]

| thend |

The Necessity of Chivalry

"He his not a compromise or happy mean between between ferocity and meekness; he is fierce to the nth and meek to the nth."

- the necessity of chivalry -

-C.S. Lewis-

i really enjoyed this essay by lewis. I liked how Lewis started off by saying "The word chivalry has mean at different times a good many different things..."  I find this st

atement very true. Lewis points out that there is a lack of chivalrous men in society, which is a legitimate statement because its not easy to live a life of chivalry, not just doing chivalrous things, but making chivalry a solid characteristic of oneself. Lewis says, "the man who combines both characters- the knight- is a work not of nature but of art; of that art which has human beings, instead of canvas of marble, for its medium."  

Lewis also writes, "Knightly character is art not nature - something that needs to be achieved , not something that can be relied upon to happen."

So i would agree with lewis that it is rare to find a true chivalrous man; a man who not only opens doors or pulls out a seat but has integrity and shows respect and it honest and fa

ithful, that is a chivalrous man.

Also, when reading this, and listening to the class discussion, i thought that a man is not restricted to being chivalrous to only women, he can be chivalrous to his fellow men. He can be respectful when dealing with confrontation, still stand his ground but still having integrity. 

I am sure, however, that there are many men at Calvin currently being shaped and formed into chivalrous men of God....We are the Calvin Knights aren't we?

 | thend. |

A Time For Everything.

"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."
-C.S. Lewis

This quote reminds me, as it must remind us all at some point, how i felt after the loss of a loved one. No one likes to grief, no one enjoys feeling immense loss, but we do experience these things and we must learn to cope. Lewis says that part of grief is not only feeling it, but being reminded everyday that you are grieving; living in grief and thinking about the fact that you live in grief.

I think that what lewis describes about grief is almost worse than grief itself. You not only have the initial grief to bear but we are daily reminded of the fact that, that loved one wont be walking through the door again, won't be there to say Merry Christmas too, wont be there to hug or to laugh with, or that my uncle will never go his sons graduations, or their weddings. It is, in my opinion, absolutely worse to be reminded that we suffer daily than that first initial feelings of suffering.

Wouldn't you think that because this, the endless grief we face, is true we would be drowned by our sufferings, that we would be suffocated by our pain, that we would be drained of every last bit of hope by our grief? I certainly would think that. But no, we do not have to be continual, eternal victims of our grief. There is a source of light and of joy that we can look to. Ecclesiastes 3 says,

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

There is a time for everything, so we then can know that we are not meant to suffer forever. we can know that yes, we will suffer, we will loose mothers, fathers, brothers, and uncles, but the times of mourning and pain will subside. The raging storm of our pain will slowly come to a calm and like the sea, it will be a peaceful place once again. Life is not meant to be an endless winding road of pain. As it says in Ecclesiastes "there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..." There are times to rejoice in our Lord and be glad of our lives. Those times are what we look towards, but we must not forget that the times of suffering and grief and pain make us stronger, those times are what brings us closer to God. During those endless days of grief, when we look up from our bottomless pits, we realize that our savior is standing above us with an out stretched arm.

Here are words form Isaiah 61 verses 1-3:

"the spirit of the sovereign lord is on me,

because the lord has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

he has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORDs favor

and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion -

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor."

.kyle butts.
.i love you uncle.

Meditation in a Tool Shed

I love how Lewis can take such a simple image of a beam of light in a dark tool shed and expand it to such a deep and meaningful topic, I love his use of mental pictures. The simplicity of looking at a beam of light compared to looking along a beam of light and then applying this analogy to everyday life it’s just amazing.
Lewis, in meditation in a tool shed, recognizes that there are different ways of looking at the world and different experiences but one must always look at a situation and along it and most certainly one must look both ways at a situation. Merely looking at a situation deprives you of having a firsthand experience; you don’t get the full force of the situation. This is why we must look at and along. And merely looking along a situation can get you so caught up in it that you loose yourself. It is good to take a step back and look at something rather than be submerged in it.
I really enjoyed this essay of Lewis’ because it can be applied to my daily life and it reminds me a lot of photography. I’m always looking for new angles to shoot at and to capture my subject in the best way, just as we look for different ways to see a situation in our own lives. You can simply take a picture of a window straight on and you see that all it is glass and wood put together and lets light into the room. But it is not until you get close to it and you see that it’s made of curves and lines and color you see the detail of the wood or the glass you see much more when you look along it. But it is the same as if you zoom in and you only see details, you then lose sight that it is in fact a window, which is important to know. It is important and vital to look both at and along things in life.

thend.

The Inner Circle

The Inner Circle:
This reading brought me back to elementary school days. I remember in the fourth grade at the Winthrop public elementary school (The Willis) that I was in the "cool kids" group...and looking back on it...I laugh because fourth grade cool is much different than what I think is cool now. So I was in the fourth grade and I was in the inner circle of the girls in the class...and we all had our titles. I was the funny one. Looking back I now, see that I was in a way the court jester...just there to make them laugh. Everyone wanted to hang with us...or so we thought and the cute boys liked the cutest girls in the group. It was an elementary clique. (So lame). I particularly remember one day we played truth or dare during recess (like all 4th graders did) and they dared me to kiss a tree...and I thought well, that is kind of gross I’m not doing that. And because of my personal feelings on how sanitary kissing a tree was...I was kicked out of the group. One little miniscule thing and I was gone. I remember how awful that felt.
Lewis says, "One of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left out side." It’s a bad enough feeling to want to be in a ring but when you are in it and you get kicked out its possibly even worse.
And I've been on both sides of the fence. I have had the desire to be in the group and I’ve been in the group and have been found guilty of excluding others from the group. Lewis makes a point to say something so utterly true about these inner rings, "Exclusion is no accident; it is the essence." It’s hard to realize that you've been a part of something like that. To purposely brush people away who aren’t deemed "worthy" of your group. It’s kind of embarrassing actually.
Lewis points out that all of these inner rings don’t benefit you in any way he says, “As long as you are governed by that desire you will never get what you want. You are trying to peel an onion: if you succeed there will be nothing left. Until you conquer the fear of being an outsider, an outsider you will remain."
It is just amazing that even though this was written in the 40s in London, it applies to right now. It fits in with current times and will be appropriate in another 20 or 40 years. The phenominon on the Inner Rings will not die, but as individuals there can be the prevention of another one rising up among us in this world.

thend.